"To explain God"

The following was sent to me recently and brought a smile in gloomy times, I think it might do the same for you! It was written by 8 year old Danny Dutton of Chula Vista California, for his third grade homework assignment - which was "to explain God".

One of God's main jobs is making people. He makes them to replace the ones that die, so there will be enough people to take care of things on earth. He doesn't make grown-ups, just babies. I think because they are smaller and easier to make. That way he does not have to waste his valuable time teaching them to walk and talk. He can just leave them to mothers and fathers. God's second most important job is listening to prayers. An awful lot of this goes on, since some people, like preachers and things pray at times besides bedtime. God doesn't have time to listen to the radio or TV because of this. Because he hears everything, there must be a terrible lot of noise in his ears unless he has thought of a way to turn it off.

God sees everything and hears everything and is everywhere which keeps him pretty busy. So you shouldn't go wasting his time going over your Mom and Dad's head asking for something they said you couldn't have.

Atheists are people who don't believe in God. I don't think there are any in Chula Vista. At least there are not any who come to our church.

Jesus is God's Son. He used to do all the hard work like walking on water and performing miracles and trying to teach the people who didn't want to learn about God. They finally got tired of him preaching to them and they crucified him. But he was good and kind, like his father, and he told his father that they didn't know what they were doing and to forgive them, so God said ok.

His dad (God) appreciated everything that he had done and all his hard work on earth so he told him he didn't have to go out on the road anymore. He could stay in heaven, so he did. And now he helps his dad out by listening to prayers which are important to God to take care of and which ones he can take care of himself without having to bother God. Like a secretary only more important.

And since we're in humour mode the following arrived by Whatsapp the other day!

Last Sunday was the feast of the Ascension. To those who wonder what it's all about: It's the day when Jesus started to work from home!

Philip Curran,
St. Mary's Lucan